Today I received my IVF schedule of medicines spreadsheet. Basically every day is mapped out for me medicine wise in these fun colors with names of drugs I have a hard time pronouncing. It's always comforting putting things into your body that you can't pronounce, right? Now I wait for the online pharmacy to call me back about acquiring these needles, syringes, and whatever else is required for this science experiment.
It wasn't until I got the schedule that it really hit me that we are going to do this. All this time we were committed to the May IVF cycle, but in the back of my mind I thought we would get pregnant and be that rare couple that conceived before they started the process. It didn't happen that way, and I'm okay with it. So much of life doesn't happen the way we planned it to. The important thing is being flexible with the process.
So, in 12 days I will give myself my first shot and won't look back. Then it will basically be lather, rinse, repeat over and over again. We have no idea what is going to happen, but we are hoping for the best!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Saturday, April 12, 2014
How to Slow Down Time
Do you feel like the months are constantly flying by? I have a solution to slow time down. Get everything in order and sign up to do In Vitro at the end of the month. April is going by SO slowly for us!
We still have 17 days before we begin the hormone treatments. Days seem like years to me. All I am doing right now in the IVF process is finishing up my second week of birth control pills.
In all seriousness, we are actually enjoying the calm before the storm. The end of the month brings lots of exciting events. We will celebrate another Easter together without a looming deployment or crazy work schedule, enjoy Anna's art show at school, and attend the submarine birthday ball. Then 3 days later we will begin a new journey full of unknown possibilities.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Green Light
Anna must play the game "Red Light, Green Light" at school because she comes home talking all about it. For the past month we have been going through tests trying to get our green light to start the IVF process. Yesterday we got our green light!
I had my umpteenth ultrasound done yesterday, and although we were hoping for the ovaries to be clear of any cysts, that was not the case. We knew it could be a possibility because of my history, but it turned out that the ovaries are still covered in tiny cysts. My doctor called it poly cystic ovarian syndrome tendencies. I guess I don't meet the major requirement to be diagnosed with the syndrome, so they call it a "tendency." He also said he saw some scar tissue, so that could explain why I am still in pain. Most of this news doesn't matter too much because we are already doing IVF, but it gives the doctor more of an idea of how much medicine to give to stimulate ovulation. The pre-screening IVF tests have been very informative. It's like a treasure hunt; what will they find out this appointment?? Hopefully that was the last piece of negative medical finding in this process.
So what's the plan? Basically we are jumping head first into this process and learning as we go what is required of us. This weekend I start the first step which is birth control pills. I am on those for 3.5 weeks to give my ovaries a rest and get on the cycle my doctor wants me on. Since I do have a hormonal imbalance with the ovarian cysts, I'm hoping the birth control will help keep that at bay. It seems funny to go on birth control to have a baby, but it's all part of the process!
On April 29th we officially begin ovulation stimulation. This is when the real fun starts. We will become pros at injections and managing my medicine schedule. Any nurses out there want to volunteer to come live with us for a couple of months to help administer thick, oil like shots every day? Just kidding; I know we will get the hang of it quickly!
Then around the first and second week of May they will harvest hopefully lots of mature, healthy eggs, turn them into embryos, and transfer them back. After that we hope and pray that one or two of the embryos does its thing and implants. Then we wait some more for either a positive or negative pregnancy test. If it's positive we continue with shots and close care for the first trimester at the clinic. If negative then we continue on with another cycle after some recovery time.
We have heard that IVF is full of crazy emotional and physical ups and downs. I would like to say we are ready for the roller coaster after months of tests and procedures, but I don't think I can honestly say that until we are in the thick of things. I do know that we are incredibly thankful for our health and our beautiful daughter, so that makes it easier to move into this process with nothing to lose.
Thank you for your encouragement through this!
I had my umpteenth ultrasound done yesterday, and although we were hoping for the ovaries to be clear of any cysts, that was not the case. We knew it could be a possibility because of my history, but it turned out that the ovaries are still covered in tiny cysts. My doctor called it poly cystic ovarian syndrome tendencies. I guess I don't meet the major requirement to be diagnosed with the syndrome, so they call it a "tendency." He also said he saw some scar tissue, so that could explain why I am still in pain. Most of this news doesn't matter too much because we are already doing IVF, but it gives the doctor more of an idea of how much medicine to give to stimulate ovulation. The pre-screening IVF tests have been very informative. It's like a treasure hunt; what will they find out this appointment?? Hopefully that was the last piece of negative medical finding in this process.
So what's the plan? Basically we are jumping head first into this process and learning as we go what is required of us. This weekend I start the first step which is birth control pills. I am on those for 3.5 weeks to give my ovaries a rest and get on the cycle my doctor wants me on. Since I do have a hormonal imbalance with the ovarian cysts, I'm hoping the birth control will help keep that at bay. It seems funny to go on birth control to have a baby, but it's all part of the process!
On April 29th we officially begin ovulation stimulation. This is when the real fun starts. We will become pros at injections and managing my medicine schedule. Any nurses out there want to volunteer to come live with us for a couple of months to help administer thick, oil like shots every day? Just kidding; I know we will get the hang of it quickly!
Then around the first and second week of May they will harvest hopefully lots of mature, healthy eggs, turn them into embryos, and transfer them back. After that we hope and pray that one or two of the embryos does its thing and implants. Then we wait some more for either a positive or negative pregnancy test. If it's positive we continue with shots and close care for the first trimester at the clinic. If negative then we continue on with another cycle after some recovery time.
We have heard that IVF is full of crazy emotional and physical ups and downs. I would like to say we are ready for the roller coaster after months of tests and procedures, but I don't think I can honestly say that until we are in the thick of things. I do know that we are incredibly thankful for our health and our beautiful daughter, so that makes it easier to move into this process with nothing to lose.
Thank you for your encouragement through this!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Ultrasound Galore
When I was pregnant with Anna I had three ultrasounds. They were the some of the most exciting/nerve racking experiences I've ever experienced. The first one was amazing. At 7 weeks we breathed a sigh of relief seeing our little glow worm on the screen with a strong heart beat. We looked at the picture daily. Then at 20 weeks we had our second one where we found out we had a squirmy but healthy baby girl. Deep down in my heart I knew she was a girl. Our third one was at 29 weeks and we saw her sweet profile for the last time while she was in the womb. I loved those ultrasounds and getting a glimpse of the baby we couldn't wait to meet!
Since Anna was born I have had around 8 ultrasounds. When there is no baby involved ultrasounds aren't fun. They are checking for things that are wrong. For most of mine I was treated like a freak of nature by the techs. After a while I went into them telling the tech "Yes I have a lot of cysts and yes they are big." For a while I was having so many ultrasounds that I contemplated going back to school to become an ultrasound tech. I figured if you can't beat them, join them. It was always a little hard being in the waiting room with visibly pregnant ladies going in to get their gender sonograms. I wondered if we would ever be in that position again. I did learn a lot through these 8 ultrasounds and learned not to be alarmed with the tech tried to remain calm while telling me they needed to get their supervisor. Thankfully my surgery didn't confirm what the techs thought was going on.
Thankfully I finally found a doctor who wasn't intimidated by these cysts and took care of the problem. She has reassured me that they shouldn't grow back since it's not endometriosis. My fertility doctor has mentioned several times that these cysts are pretty common. I wish someone had told me that 3 years ago! Moral of the story... always go to a specialist. They know way more about their field that I ever thought.
So on Wednesday I go in for my final pre-screening for in vitro ultrasound. Hopefully it will show that there are no cysts that would keep us from being able to do in vitro. Then a couple of days later we should start our journey with in vitro. As weird as it may sound I am excited about the process because of what the end result could bring... baby(ies). It's not the road we thought we would go down to expand our family but we are beyond thankful that there is something else we can try. We know there will be a lot of ups and downs but hopefully we are ready to take on this new challenge. So wish us luck that everything is clear and we will have the green light to start this process!
Since Anna was born I have had around 8 ultrasounds. When there is no baby involved ultrasounds aren't fun. They are checking for things that are wrong. For most of mine I was treated like a freak of nature by the techs. After a while I went into them telling the tech "Yes I have a lot of cysts and yes they are big." For a while I was having so many ultrasounds that I contemplated going back to school to become an ultrasound tech. I figured if you can't beat them, join them. It was always a little hard being in the waiting room with visibly pregnant ladies going in to get their gender sonograms. I wondered if we would ever be in that position again. I did learn a lot through these 8 ultrasounds and learned not to be alarmed with the tech tried to remain calm while telling me they needed to get their supervisor. Thankfully my surgery didn't confirm what the techs thought was going on.
Thankfully I finally found a doctor who wasn't intimidated by these cysts and took care of the problem. She has reassured me that they shouldn't grow back since it's not endometriosis. My fertility doctor has mentioned several times that these cysts are pretty common. I wish someone had told me that 3 years ago! Moral of the story... always go to a specialist. They know way more about their field that I ever thought.
So on Wednesday I go in for my final pre-screening for in vitro ultrasound. Hopefully it will show that there are no cysts that would keep us from being able to do in vitro. Then a couple of days later we should start our journey with in vitro. As weird as it may sound I am excited about the process because of what the end result could bring... baby(ies). It's not the road we thought we would go down to expand our family but we are beyond thankful that there is something else we can try. We know there will be a lot of ups and downs but hopefully we are ready to take on this new challenge. So wish us luck that everything is clear and we will have the green light to start this process!
Friday, March 7, 2014
A Little Bit Closer
Today we got a little bit closer to seeing our dream of another child come true. I needed two tests done to move forward with being screened for in vitro. The first one was an easy blood draw I did earlier in the week. The second was called a hysteroscopy and I had that done today. I'll discuss the first before the really "fun" one.
On Monday I had blood drawn to check my FSH levels. I am getting really into all the acronyms. They're almost as intense as military ones! Apparently healthy levels of FSH for my age are at a 3 or 4. Well mine was a 9.3. They can still do in vitro on people with levels under 10 but it requires a little more effort than what was originally thought. In layman's terms my ovaries are "aging" faster than a normal 31 year old. So during my treatment I will need to have more medicine than normal to stimulate the maturation of more eggs. Don't I sound like a super smart doctor with all of these terms? My doctor is still not worried and encouraged us it's pretty much now or never if we want to have another baby. That's fine by me after all of this waiting I wouldn't want to wait any longer to try this thing. It was just another assurance that what we are doing is the best possible thing for trying for another one. I knew things just weren't adding up!
The second test I had done was today. It's called a hysteroscopy. Before they shoved a camera up my lady parts they gave me a shot in the butt that made me want to scream. I can handle shots but this one totally took me by surprise. I was a little shocked after when they said "That wasn't bad right? This is what it will feel like every day when you're giving yourself shots." For a second I thought "What the heck are we getting ourselves into here," but I quickly assured myself that after a few days I would get used to the shots. The test itself was only 4 minutes. You would not believe how much those 4 minutes cost us. Not to be a grouch or anything about it. They asked if I wanted to watch my insides on the screen and I looked for a second but got so queasy I had to turn away. This is why I could never go into the medical field. The good news is that everything was clear! It was nice to have a test that turned out to give us good results.
So in a couple of weeks I will meet with the lady who will give us the low down on all the meds and when to take them. Apparently there is a color coded calendar involved that I'm really excited about because I do have a side of me that loves organization. Then I will have another pelvic ultrasound and start the birth control. Yes in this case you go on birth control to be able to get pregnant. Who would've thought?
In the meant time we are praying for a healthy amount of eggs to be harvested and for some good embryos to make this thing happen. Then hopefully the embryo will turn into a blastocyst and the blastocyst into a fetus and a fetus into a baby. How's that for biology? I didn't pay attention to it in high school but I am now! Wish us luck!
On Monday I had blood drawn to check my FSH levels. I am getting really into all the acronyms. They're almost as intense as military ones! Apparently healthy levels of FSH for my age are at a 3 or 4. Well mine was a 9.3. They can still do in vitro on people with levels under 10 but it requires a little more effort than what was originally thought. In layman's terms my ovaries are "aging" faster than a normal 31 year old. So during my treatment I will need to have more medicine than normal to stimulate the maturation of more eggs. Don't I sound like a super smart doctor with all of these terms? My doctor is still not worried and encouraged us it's pretty much now or never if we want to have another baby. That's fine by me after all of this waiting I wouldn't want to wait any longer to try this thing. It was just another assurance that what we are doing is the best possible thing for trying for another one. I knew things just weren't adding up!
The second test I had done was today. It's called a hysteroscopy. Before they shoved a camera up my lady parts they gave me a shot in the butt that made me want to scream. I can handle shots but this one totally took me by surprise. I was a little shocked after when they said "That wasn't bad right? This is what it will feel like every day when you're giving yourself shots." For a second I thought "What the heck are we getting ourselves into here," but I quickly assured myself that after a few days I would get used to the shots. The test itself was only 4 minutes. You would not believe how much those 4 minutes cost us. Not to be a grouch or anything about it. They asked if I wanted to watch my insides on the screen and I looked for a second but got so queasy I had to turn away. This is why I could never go into the medical field. The good news is that everything was clear! It was nice to have a test that turned out to give us good results.
So in a couple of weeks I will meet with the lady who will give us the low down on all the meds and when to take them. Apparently there is a color coded calendar involved that I'm really excited about because I do have a side of me that loves organization. Then I will have another pelvic ultrasound and start the birth control. Yes in this case you go on birth control to be able to get pregnant. Who would've thought?
In the meant time we are praying for a healthy amount of eggs to be harvested and for some good embryos to make this thing happen. Then hopefully the embryo will turn into a blastocyst and the blastocyst into a fetus and a fetus into a baby. How's that for biology? I didn't pay attention to it in high school but I am now! Wish us luck!
Friday, February 28, 2014
A First Time for Everything
Today we took another important first step in our journey towards growing our family again. We met with the fertility doctor. Let me tell you that specialist doctors know how to decorate their offices. It was complete with fancy chairs, TV's in the rooms, and keurig. Not to mention the cutest book of baby success stories I've ever seen. I didn't make it past the first page because it was too emotional for me. I guess if most doctors charged what IVF doctors do they would be able to make super fancy baby books too.
The doctor mostly echoed what my OBGYN has said all along but expounded on important information. Anna was born by emergency c-section because her chord was coming out before she was. It was a safety issue and I don't regret it at all. It turns out that my body responded to the surgery by producing massive amounts of scar tissue that unfortunately pushed my tubes up so high rendering them almost useless when it comes to making a baby. How ironic that bringing life into the world contributed to my body's ability to do it all again. Even if Anna is the only one we could conceive naturally she is worth every scar or side effect of the birth process.
So with all of that said it looks like in vitro is our only option going forward unless by some miracle I'm pregnant and don't know it yet. The in vitro process is a lot more complicated than I ever dreamed it would be. First of all there are all of these different "package" deals you can choose. We sit down with the financial lady next week to discuss them all. My head hurt just thinking about all the different numbers. Second of all there are a lot of drugs involved in the process. He did assure me that they would walk me through how to give myself shots every day. I wonder how he would feel about a 3 year old administering them. Please know that was a joke.
So at the end of March we will start the six week process that is in vitro with hopeful hearts. I will be in the late April/early May group. We are feeling good about moving forward with everything. I'm sure I will have lots to write about once we start this process. We are staying positive and trying to keep our humor through all of this. The doctor said I am a great candidate for this and that people my age have a great success rate. We are hoping to be apart of this success rate very soon!
The doctor mostly echoed what my OBGYN has said all along but expounded on important information. Anna was born by emergency c-section because her chord was coming out before she was. It was a safety issue and I don't regret it at all. It turns out that my body responded to the surgery by producing massive amounts of scar tissue that unfortunately pushed my tubes up so high rendering them almost useless when it comes to making a baby. How ironic that bringing life into the world contributed to my body's ability to do it all again. Even if Anna is the only one we could conceive naturally she is worth every scar or side effect of the birth process.
So with all of that said it looks like in vitro is our only option going forward unless by some miracle I'm pregnant and don't know it yet. The in vitro process is a lot more complicated than I ever dreamed it would be. First of all there are all of these different "package" deals you can choose. We sit down with the financial lady next week to discuss them all. My head hurt just thinking about all the different numbers. Second of all there are a lot of drugs involved in the process. He did assure me that they would walk me through how to give myself shots every day. I wonder how he would feel about a 3 year old administering them. Please know that was a joke.
So at the end of March we will start the six week process that is in vitro with hopeful hearts. I will be in the late April/early May group. We are feeling good about moving forward with everything. I'm sure I will have lots to write about once we start this process. We are staying positive and trying to keep our humor through all of this. The doctor said I am a great candidate for this and that people my age have a great success rate. We are hoping to be apart of this success rate very soon!
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
A Roller Coaster Ride
I hate roller coasters with a passion. I get motion sickness riding on a swing so you can imagine what would happen on a roller coaster. Ferris wheels are okay but nothing else. I did do Splash Mountain in the 5th grade and screamed so loud I think I broke my mom's ear drums. I do not enjoy the thrill that comes along with it.
Lately life has been like a roller coaster emotionally and physically. Although I am learning a lot and growing it has been pretty rough. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. There are other ways to learn the good ole life lessons we have been learning. The ups have been few and far in between and the downs have seemed to dominate but we are determined to keep going.
After lots of ups and downs with my OBGYN we have decided it is time to move to a reproductive endocrinologist (a.k.a a fertility doctor) to get more insight into what is going on. My doctor has been great but we have come to the end of her knowledge on the subject. So now we move into finding the right RE for us in the Bay Area. It seems like there are thousands of clinics to choose from but hopefully we will find the right fit quickly.
We are looking for a doctor with a positive outlook on our situation who is dedicated to helping us do whatever it takes to get past whatever health issues are holding us back from expanding our family. Does that kind of doctor exist?
So here we go moving back up the roller coaster that we don't want to be on anymore. The truth I hold on to is knowing that God promises to work all things together for our good. We believe that none of our struggles will be wasted.
I keep holding on to the hope that one day this will all be a distant memory. Until then we will keep fighting because anything of any kind of value is worth fighting for.
Life is a roller coaster so we better hold on tight!
Lately life has been like a roller coaster emotionally and physically. Although I am learning a lot and growing it has been pretty rough. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. There are other ways to learn the good ole life lessons we have been learning. The ups have been few and far in between and the downs have seemed to dominate but we are determined to keep going.
After lots of ups and downs with my OBGYN we have decided it is time to move to a reproductive endocrinologist (a.k.a a fertility doctor) to get more insight into what is going on. My doctor has been great but we have come to the end of her knowledge on the subject. So now we move into finding the right RE for us in the Bay Area. It seems like there are thousands of clinics to choose from but hopefully we will find the right fit quickly.
We are looking for a doctor with a positive outlook on our situation who is dedicated to helping us do whatever it takes to get past whatever health issues are holding us back from expanding our family. Does that kind of doctor exist?
So here we go moving back up the roller coaster that we don't want to be on anymore. The truth I hold on to is knowing that God promises to work all things together for our good. We believe that none of our struggles will be wasted.
I keep holding on to the hope that one day this will all be a distant memory. Until then we will keep fighting because anything of any kind of value is worth fighting for.
Life is a roller coaster so we better hold on tight!
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