China Doll

Things have been very different since our big May 15th transfer day.  Life has really slowed down because it had to.  I've basically turned into a china doll.  After Thursday, I was on semi bed rest for 3-4 days hoping and praying for our little ones to hatch, attach, and grow.  I took lots of naps and basically lived with the heating pad from soreness.  Most of the soreness is from the nightly progesterone shots, but I think I noticed today that I'm not as sore as I was last week at this time.  Maybe my body is actually getting used to the deep muscle shots.  I didn't know that was possible.  I counted last night, and so far in this process, my husband has given me 35 shots.  He is the best shot giver ever though!

I am used to a very active lifestyle, and I have had to pretty much discontinue it for now.  I am missing my hard core gym workouts and my afternoon BBL DVD workouts with my friend Bridget.  Now I can't lift anything over 10 lbs.  If I find out I'm pregnant, that number jumps all the way to 20 lbs.  I can walk on the treadmill for about 30 minutes at the pace of 2.5.  I've been instructed not to break a sweat or do anything that would make my uterus contract.  Whoops I just sneezed, and I am pretty sure everything contracted!  I know it will all be worth it though!

The emotional ups and downs of the IVF cycle have come into full force since the transfer.  I am trying to do things to keep my mind off of it, but it seems like the only time I don't think about it at all is when I'm sleeping.  I got so used to disappointment every month that it is very hard not to project that onto this month.  Sometimes I need to be reminded that this month is different.  I'm learning that it takes even more courage to wait for answers and pregnancy test results.  I knew I had to be brave to go through all of the surgeries and tests, but I forgot that I have to be brave while we wait too.  It takes faith to believe for the best.

My IVF nurse called today to let us know that they were able to freeze 2 embryos.  I asked her when we could use them if this cycle didn't work.  She chided me and said "You won't need to use them because you're going to be pregnant."  She was reminding me that things are different now.  Everything is different now.  So please pray for us as we wait for 6 more days to find out what is going on.  Until then we will be holding on to hope with the tightest grip we can!