Good to Go

I am now good to go for our next IVF transfer next week.  I had my lining check today, and it's nice and thick and ready for an embryo or two to implant.  Wow, I have gotten very technical during this process.  As I sat and watched my insides on the screen for the umpteenth time I whispered silent prayers to God asking Him to put a baby or two in there.  Who knows, maybe the next time I get an ultrasound it will be to look at an actual baby.  I don't even remember what that was like!

So, next week they will thaw out our sweet, strong blastocysts and transfer them into their natural habitat.  As soon as that happens I will be considered pregnant again and will hopefully stay that way for 9 months (power of positive thinking).

I downloaded the Time Hop App, and it keeps sending me pictures of sweet Anna 3 years ago at this time when she was a cute, chubby baby who couldn't even sit up.  If I had known how hard it would be to have another I would've cherished the baby days more.  I am just holding on to hope that we will get another chance.

I'm tired, emotional, and hormonal.  At the moment I'm wearing 3 estrogen patches, taking a steroid, and still doing Lupron shots.  The best part is that not only have I developed an allergic reaction to what's in the shot but also my stomach has gotten so tough that it takes a couple of stabs to get the needles in.  They need to make sharper needles for those who have gone through multiple rounds of IVF.  The good news is that it's almost in the past.  I have one more Lupron shot tonight, and then I start the inter muscular progesterone shots (a.k.a. butt shots) tomorrow night.  So if you see me waddling around for a few days that's why.

I honestly don't know how I feel about going through all of this again.  This is why it's awesome that I am surrounded by positive, encouraging people including my amazing husband.  The fact that he still wants to be around me after all of these ups and downs is a miracle in itself.  He keeps assuring me that this will be the one.  I don't feel confident enough to come out and make that kind of statement, but I'm glad one of us can.

So if you think of us next week please say a little prayer for our "babies" and for our sanity.