Two hours later we sat in the lab waiting room for our results. We were shocked when we saw the sheet of paper that said I was within the normal range of a non-pregnant female. Everything went so perfectly, but unfortunately, sometime last week we lost our two beautiful embryos. For 28 days we did over 40 shots along with other medications, a painful egg retrieval, and transfer and had nothing to show for it.
At our original doctor's appointment in February he told us the statistics and tried to prepare us for the possibility of it not happening on the first round, but we thought we would beat the odds and get pregnant the first try. Thankfully we opted for the IVF package that included more than one cycle as an insurance policy. We had no control over what would happen but still hoped for the best for our first cycle.
As you can imagine, we were shocked and heartbroken that it didn't work. I would be lying if I said I didn't go home and cry for the rest of the day. Now that it has been a few days and we have been able to process things we are doing better. I have talked to several friends who went through multiple rounds of IVF to get their babies, and they have encouraged us to keep trying. So many things have to line up perfectly for this to happen. It is so refreshing to be able to talk to people who have been through this. They understand the process and the ups and downs that come with it. Those just weren't the right embryos for us even though they looked perfect. I know some pretty amazing IVF kids who wouldn't be here if their parents gave up after their first round failure. My IVF friends are some of the most resilient women I've ever met!
We have a plan moving forward. This week we will have our failure follow up appointment with my doctor and talk about the next cycle. We have two frozen embryos at the lab waiting for their chance at becoming babies. The week of July 14th is when we will do our second transfer as long as everything looks okay. All we can do now is hope for the best for our 2nd cycle. We will never know if we don't try!
It turns out that the IVF process is more of a marathon than a sprint. We will go into our next cycle remembering that.
We have had such great support from friends and family through this process. So many have asked what they can do for us as we go through this process. I thought about it after a friend encouraged me to be honest about what we need right now. What would be amazing is if you could stand with us in believing for our miracles. To speak faith and encouragement into our situation as we hold on to the promises God has made us and fight for our future children. I know one day we will all get to rejoice together over this victory.
I found this postcard that I know my IVF friends who have gone through multiple rounds will appreciate. It's a little cynical because there are the lucky few who get pregnant on their first try, but it somehow made me feel like less of a failure today.
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