If you know me I tend to be a private person. Sometimes getting personal information out of me is like pulling teeth. I guess I have gotten better about it over the years but sharing hasn't been my strong point. So why in the world would I start a blog about our struggles with fertility?
Side note: I am not a fan of the world infertility so I will rarely use it. It sounds so final as if there is no hope and I don't believe that is the case.
Honestly I originally did not set out to bring hope to women in this area. Of course I offered support and prayer for those who shared their struggle with me but I started becoming more vocal about my struggles out of frustration. When Anna was around 15 months old I started getting the infamous question (from well meaning friends and complete strangers), "When are you going to have another one?" Or my least favorite statement, "You better get started on having another one so your daughter doesn't get too spoiled being the only child." Little did these people know that we were trying and these questions were like tiny daggers that stung like crazy. At first I decided to gracefully respond with some kind of fake statement like "Well my husband is gone for months at a time so it's a little hard to plan at the moment." Well the months kept ticking by with no sign of a pregnancy and the questions kept coming so I decided to get real with people whether they liked it or not!
It's interesting to hear peoples' reaction when you tell them you are having fertility issues. They rarely know what to do or say. In all fairness it probably wasn't nice of me to spring it on the random grocery clerk or nurse at the doctor's office first but they asked the awkward question so I practiced responding in a real way. I don't blame them for their weird response. I would react in the same way if I had no experience with it because our society remains silent about the topic as if it is something to be ashamed of. I won't go into a long dialogue over this but so much of a woman's identity has been wrapped up in our ability to make babies. As if being a fertile myrtle makes you super woman. The few stories I have heard about fertility problems involved amazing women who I would never second guess.
Side note: To all my fertile myrtle friends out there... You are amazing and please celebrate the ease in which you have been able to produce amazing life. I know I have probably asked you all on more than one occasion to pray like crazy for me so I appreciate your stories too.
Anyway to wrap this intro up, this is my blog. My stories probably won't go in any kind of chronological order since it goes back almost 5 years. I hope to be an encouragement to anyone who is silently struggling with these same issues. Also I hope to provide insight into what it's like to live in this world for those who have never experienced it. I am so inspired by the women dating back to the Old Testament who have gone before me in this process. You did not stay silent so neither will I.
So if you're interested please check back on here for updates, resources, and stories that will make you laugh and cry. Welcome to our world!
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