You Don't Get to Choose

I know it seems like we have control over some of the things that happen in our lives but the truth is that we don't.  Over the past year and a half as we have waited to have another baby this has become a reality to me.

I am a planner.  I get a thrill from planning out our life.  It seems like everything has gone our way in terms of the Navy which is hardly the case.  We skirted through Power School, prototype, and SOBC without a single delay (If you're reading this and you're in the sub community you know that is a miracle these days).  We asked for Washington and a boomer and we got it.  We asked for NPS and we got it.  We asked for another baby and we haven't gotten one yet!

It seems to be a slap in the face to realize how little control we have over this area of our lives.  My days look like an emotional roller coaster as we deal with doctor's reports and things that are out of our hands.  Dare I say that it is a fact that we don't get to pick when we have our kids, how we have them, or if they will be boys or girls?  I feel like a downer telling people you can't control any of this but there is hope.

My hope is in God's goodness.  I know He cares about the desires of my heart.  He has heard our constant cries to add to our family, and He has been providing for us every step of the way.  I mean life wouldn't be as adventurous if everything went according to my plans.  So we will wait and keep waiting and pray for wisdom to know what the heck to pursue and what not to pursue.

Thank you to my friends and family and especially my husband who handle my roller coaster days with so much grace.  It would be so much more lonely going through this without you all!